I Swear My Roommate Is A Vampire

Ever declare bankruptcy? Don't. It sucks.... Okay, really bad joke. Anyway, after my bankruptcy, my home equity line payment took a jump into the ozone layer and I needed extra money, fast. So, I decided it was time for a roommate. After screening lots of potential candidates (let me tell you, what a real life horror story that was), I became desperate and did something I never thought I'd ever do. I rented my master suite to a vampire. I know, what you're thinking: Dracula, fangs, blood, hot, sexy, the whole package. Well, this one's different. He's the perfect renter-quiet, neat, tidy, pays on time. In fact he reminds me of my high school algebra teacher. All was going well, until things started to happen-nasty things. Apparently, not everyone likes vampires and has no intention of letting people live and let live. Especially with a human as a roommate. Reality.... Now that really bites!