Mary Me Beyond The Canvas

The year was 1966, and Susie, a senior in high school, found herself with a new label: unwed mother. It was an era of “silent surrender,” and Susie was forced to leave home and move in with her aunt for three months of seclusion until her baby was born and could be put up for adoption. She somehow found the inner strength to survive the solitude, shame, physical changes, and the incredible loss of giving up her baby. Susie was told to forget about her baby and go on with life, but that was impossible. While other birthmothers may have turned to alcohol or drugs to deal with their loss, Susie transformed her deep longing into art. Her most remarkable works were annual paintings of the child she privately named “Mary.” For more than two decades, Mary grew to adulthood on canvas. And twenty-seven years after giving birth, Susie would finally meet Mary—whose given name was Jeanne—in person. The resemblance between the woman before her and the woman in the paintings was remarkable, and there was a connection of epic proportion between mother and child. The adoption experience had come full circle. This inspirational memoir sheds new light on the shadowy era of closed adoption and shares how one woman translated her pain and guilt into art.