Just Before Too Late

Paul McCarahan has killed twice. The first time it was in Germany, his Afro-German mother's country. The second time the theater was Pittsburgh, his hometown. The latter killing made him something of a hero to the local African American community, from which he nonetheless has drifted away. However, it is the violent struggle in the Rhineland when he was nineteen years old that has marked him, apparently for life. This "victory" remains his dark secret. He muses that it might be his guiding light.Paul and his younger brother lost their mother, when Paul was four years old. She returned to Germany due to the psychological abuse meted out by Paul's father and, fearing her husband's threats, did not return to retrieve her children. Paul was conceived in the immediate aftermath of World War II in Germany, but born in the United States. Fifty-eight years later, he is a mathematician struggling to find life's formula. He is at a loss wherever he wanders, be it Germany, Yale College, or the Piedmont region of Virginia and North Carolina, where his paternal ancestors labored in bondage for two centuries. He eventually gives himself up to the possibility of redemption, when fate presents itself in the guise of a manifestly long-shot relationship.