Godless Goddess

A divorced man vacationing in Hawaii, during the off season, thinks he's losing his mind - all the women he meets seem like witches. He doesn't realize a conference of body-mind-spirit aficionado, witches, Wiccans, mediums, spiritualist and other Magic Thinkers, meet on the Big Island of Hawaii. A couple of chance encounters with one convinces both "it was meant to be" and so he joins two beautiful young nudists on a whirlwind tour of the Big Island's charms, and learns some frightening aspects of Godless Goddesses. "Women who read romances feel worthless. Sluts watch porn and feel perfect. The bigger a man's ego, the smaller his you-know-what. Men with tiny thingees overcompensate. They become muscle builders, or drive sports cars, and indulge in risky behavior. Women see that, they nod and lower the head, raise the eyebrows, roll the eyes, and say, "I knew it, no ding-a-ling." All the two-ton, gonad-dangling ball-and-socket hitched pickups in the world can't make up for a limp spaghetti or a puckered raisin. God made a mistake; Adam's rib wasn't a boner, it was a womb. God gave man a penis and a brain, and enough blood for one. Men get excited, the blood runs south, the tongue comes out, and a doglike brain takes over. That's why a man will stick his nose where it doesn't belong, and try to bury his bone by humping your leg while dancing. Men will do anything if they think it's foreplay. My last ex-boyfriend whined "I feel insecure. I can't stop thinking that you don't need me." He came the closest to being right. I appreciate a man who tells me what he wants or needs from me, so I can tell him to learn to get along without it. If you want to give me advice, ask, and I will tell you what to say. If a man can afford me, I might tolerate him. If you love me, I will take advantage of you. If you hurt me, I will destroy you. I think, therefore I am single. I don't want to be divorced. I want to be a widow." Sincerely, Your Next Girlfriend